It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
