His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
