so that wasnt chicken after all
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
