Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
