You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We left an ass print on the piano.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
