if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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