the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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