i will never coherently bang her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
