I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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