you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
