So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
