If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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