This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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