some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
