it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
