I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
