C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
