they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
