OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
