...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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