So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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