Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
