Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
