Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
