Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
A+ Viking dick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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