i barfeds in our rink
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
