Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
