Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
