I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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