Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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