were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
