I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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