So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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