oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
