Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
