Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
