had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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