I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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