He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
