It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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