why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
