Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
