this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
