no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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