They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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