i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
