that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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