last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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