i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
