Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
